xxSearching for Salvationxx

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Aug. 31st, 2006 @ 09:34 am update?

Ever watch a movie and see a villian that is sooo badd ass.. you wish you could be them. And then think about how much better you could have made the villian. anway.. school is coming up.. i am super pumped about going back ..anyway.. im bored..i think it might be time to go to the gym.. again.. urgh.... anyways.. new mp3 player.. and new camera... maybe i could have some fun later... wellllllll ill update when i actually have something to talk about..

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Jul. 22nd, 2006 @ 10:35 pm bored...

Current Location: Home
Current Mood:

confused
Current Music: Eminem - Shake That Ass

well i just got bac from erika's house and now im awake and really bored... lol i also have been listening to ALOT of rap and a healthy amount of metal. i told my buddy at work and he was like yeah.. i guess you are getting in touch with your roots.. and i thought.. hahah you clearly dont know me.. i act soo white.. but anyways i think that i might really have an issue with drinking i feel happy when im drunk or have gotten drunk in the past 24 hours.. after that i change a bit.. i dont really care for this.. and also i think that i am really good at picking people to like who might not be fully ready for a relationship.. awkward when they tell me??? uh huh.. i hate it.. well i hate it but i also feel that on some level i can help them heal and maybe change their mind.. haha i realize that that could be considered manipulation. but i dont think its all that bad if i have only their best intrest in mind.. i want to be good for someone.. im just kinda bad at picking who.. but anythink is better than a string of one nighters.. ehh.. fuck that. oh and a while ago.. this fuck bitch told me that i should stop being such a woman.. and now i see what she meant.. im not my usual confident self and its nice at time cuz new people will see me as nice but not as an asshole.. but i dont know whats going on with me..On another note.. im soooo ready to quit me job.. but the longer i work the closer i get to buying the bike that i want. I want a Yamaha YZF 600 Thundercat. mmmm i saw an image .. my dick moved a little .. anyway im working until the 22 of august.. then i quit and im going to the beach daily.. and i dont care if im going alone.. ohhh and speeking of the beach.. i was pleased to see that ive lost like 20 lbs since the start of summer.. holy shit i got fat.. 10 more and im back to where i was.. and any more i lose will put me at my thinest since 8th grade. hahaha.. how wierd would it be if i got down to 190 lbs.. thats another 25 lbs i would have to lose.. i think i should try to do this.. it would be funny to be skinny.. its too bad my ribs are fucked up and no matter how hard i try i could never look like brad pit in fight club.. that asshole.. lol maybe its not the weight i should look and .. maybe its waistline and build.. and i think i might be hotter if im riding a motorcycle. we will see. ahhhh soooo bored

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Jun. 29th, 2006 @ 07:26 pm Summer Fun

Sooo.. against all odds... i am a work-o-holic... and that totally was not the kinda holic i was shooting for.. anyways.. my summer is going pretty well.. i have three jobs.. if working for your mom and dad for almost no money counts.. i am also working at the hardware store and i have a job during the week at Ray Labbe... there is all kinds of fun things going on.. but i dont have the time or the energy to do any of them.. and as for band practice.. i would really love to.. but AYe i havent been practicing.. so i suck way more than before.. and BEe i dont really feel like being in a band all that much right now.. what little time i have i dont wanna spend playing other people stuff.. so when i do play i try to make something that i like the record it on my computer.. which has been gone for 2.5 weeks now.. (getting Fixed) so.. on another note.. i have really taken to a girl.. we are in the process of getting to know eachother better which is nice.. no rushing ... i dont wanna just rush into things and have it end quickly and poorly.. but to all of my friends.. even if i have a girlfriend.. i will not abandon you slash only hang out with you when she is not available.. i love you guys... oh and now i am really getting into paintball hardcore.. and not the stupid speedball crap.. although with the right people that can be fun too. oh and i have a new puppy.. alright seeee ya later

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Apr. 17th, 2006 @ 05:54 pm Side band for fun..?

hmm two seven strings guitars... and an eight string guitar for rythm... no bass... and drums.. that would be way silly.. i kinda wanna try it..

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Mar. 31st, 2006 @ 11:54 pm I hate life... its so hard

Yeah lifes real fucking hard when you are not starving.. are provided for... your parents love you... youre not fighting a civil war... the worst that could be going on is stupid shit you put yourself through and your own self image problems... i wish there was something i could do to help... but apperently there is more to happiness than that..i dont know about anyone else.. but because i have food water shelter... id say im pretty happy.. oh and friends are a nice perk .. knowing yourself is something everyone struggles through.. but minor adversities make life interesting.. and dont even tell me there is bigger shit going on in your life that you didnt get yourself into.. grow up?

man i missed livejournal....

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Mar. 31st, 2006 @ 03:58 pm People complain too much

Ive noticed that certain people are incapable of solving their own problems and feel the need to talk about them here.. you know what ill give you a bottle of pain killers and whiskey if you'll just take them both and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

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Mar. 30th, 2006 @ 09:13 am Updating extraviganza! (i cant spell)

The succesful return of casey to the livejournal circuit will sure shock, amaze, piss off, make fun of and embarrass you.. Im gonna try to make live journal less emo,.. yes that means all of you who whine exessively will be made fun of... and all of you who are cooler than me [josiah nora chris cory and any random 14-17 year old gils ...(oh shit.. that last part is emo..)] will be talked to and i will make comments on your rockin lives.. and I EXPECT YOU TO DO THE SAME FOR ME!

aaaaaaaaaannnnnyway(s) So spring break for me hasnt been all that bad.. granted i have been spending my day doing chores around the house like making a rock wall thing.. and cutting trees and dragging them to another spot and renting power equipment to do other things like sweep the driveway.. all to get my parents to fix my car.. lol which the bill is either gonna be 1,250$ for a new roof with sunroof components that work.. or i could pay the 37$ it cost to have the window shut.. im going with the cheaper one.. but its all good i can still see out of my sunroof and i have all four other windows i can rool down. But this has been a pretty good week i went down to portland.. (like im never there) to hang out with Erin.. and that was a good time we are deff gonna have to hang out more.. and as for everyone else i think that we should hang out when it is warm and drink the night away.. unless you are gangsta.. then i simply say to you ..you are white.. go kill yourself.. honky(cuz i can say that hahaha)(oh and i give josiah express permision to be black)(or atleast mexican with me) well its time fr me to eat and start working.. i will keep you all posted...(pun giggling)

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Feb. 21st, 2006 @ 09:47 pm ...

22 weeks ago i updated my live journal... but now i think im going to be deleting it... i dont see much point in keeping it.

Happy Josiah... ? I updated like you nudged me too.... every one should go and write on atomicgarden's post thingy..and bug him lol woot..

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Sep. 17th, 2005 @ 03:57 pm its been awhile

So, ive noticed alot of people updating and talking about how they dont like their dorms or people near them. i have to say this isnt how i feel about it at all.. everyone(almost) on our floor is so nice and we are all so tight knit. it kicks ass. also there is this freaking outragouly beautiful girl who lives down the hall from me...... i told her i would like to get to know her better, and that i wouldnt mind going out with her, and since we met weve gone on some walks and talked about life and our pasts.. you know.. just to try to get to know eachother better. things are at a stand still right now with us hanging out and such.. but whatever i dont mind taking it slow. anyway on a less dorky note. im in classes that are too easy for me.. so i dont know if i like that or not yet.. it will mean that i have to spend so extra time catchiong up..(winter break and summer courses) no biggie though.. i like this school and what it has to offer.. but as for the girls here.. i think i am a little too picky.. ive only met two girls that i think are worth while.. and ive been trying to meet alot of them.. oh.. and ben.. im still looking to find you a hot chick here that wont give you crotch rot. there is a really pretty asian girl acroos the hall from me.. but she has a b/f.. but ill find you someone..

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Sep. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:10 pm almost last ones to go..

So... being the last to head out of all of my friends isnt what i would have like to have happen.. but it has afforded me the chance to try and make some new friends to help me find somthing to do.. i know i am gonna miss everyone.. my plann.. get alot better at b-ball so when we all are back in town.. ill straight smoke jake williams,,,.. lol.. its getting bad.. even the people i dont really talk to i am starting to miss.. I was planning it to be like another high school.. but its not at all.. its much harder for me to deal with the fact i wont be seeing my friends than i had imagined.. lol.. and thursday night.. i was drinking to fend off my headache and nausia..(who would have thought drinking would help get rid of those rather than give you them..?) and i was kinda talking to jake.. i think i was telling him i was gonna miss him.. and such.. but i know ill have to buy a toyota prius and drive my ass up to UMO for some parties and hangin' out.. im sure my friends will miss my puns by the time i get there and my new friends will have had enough of me for a while.. all in all i am happy about moving forward into a new part of my life... i know there are people who care about me and its good enough that i have their friendship... i still wish i could hang out with allison more .. but she is kinda hard for me to find.. and amanda is freakin great.. but i dont know her that well.. but i want to atleast be her friend.. anyway.. im off to watch a movie alone in my room.. ill update again once i get situated in school... oh and Ben.. what.. ya think would go a whole post without giving you a shout out,,, you know you are invited to all the parties i go to.. and i will hook you up with some fine usm girls much love

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Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 11:57 pm USM BE-LEWS

Current Mood:

good
Current Music: UNEARTH

Casey = Dickey-Wood hall
Josiah = Robie Andrews hall
Nora = Upton-Hastings hall

all this adds up to alot of drunken stumbling... first night there.. im getting wasted... and i want to barf on the pitchers mound .. i may be able to see it from my room.. lol.. nora is betwen josiah and i which means we will prolly hang out there mostly.. some people are getting scared of college.. im not.. i dont know if its good or bad that im not.. but i dont think ill have an issue making friends... and im making new friends all summer.. and i love all of my old friends.. i think ill just end up with alot of friends....

oh and apparently im "cute" but still i have the chance of milk with some people... (2%) lol..
how unlucky is that.. oh well they can fight over me.. ahahha

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Aug. 9th, 2005 @ 09:48 am best weekend.. in a while...

Current Mood:

chipper
Current Music: Unearth

so it was so killer hangin out with jake and ben most of the weekend... i did my best to hook ben up with a girl.. and now she "was diggin'" him... so.. he might you know... lol.. and her friend wants me.. i think.. but i would rather be around heidi's friend.. i know her name.. but i cant spell her name.. oh well... also.. ben introduced me to his friend mindy and her friend alison..(so hot) and we are to hang out again somtime.. and then there is lynsey.. ive wanted her since .. 7th.. er 6th grade... but.. no joy there.. she is so high above me... shes so lovleyu .. anyway.. college move in date is sunday sept 4... im in dickey wood hall.. its real close to the gym.. so i can hang out there all the time.. and ... im not in the same building as nora or josiah... and.. i owe josiah 36.25.. which i have... and i am waiting to see him to give his money.. damn warped tour is gonna be so sic.... i love all my friends.. and jake .. you need to .. ahh i forgot.. oh yea.. that black socks are pimpin thing is dumb.. clearly... i wear white socks and im like 1/4 inch away from pimpin'.. so.. if it is true.. if i wore black socks.. id be better off than danny briggs.. ha.. well now to go and take care of some college stuff.. and then to work til eight.. ewwww

p.s. tina .. im sorry i didnt mean to slam into you... please forgive me..

go dube.. i know you are so close to nabbing you know who.. he wants you...BAD... get 'em'!

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Aug. 2nd, 2005 @ 06:46 pm update

Current Mood: bored.. but happy
Current Music: Metallica-Sanitarium (Welcome Home)

So i was sitting there trying my hardest to solo real smooth like.. and i wasnt doing such a good job.. i was getting upset.. so i closed my eyes and unleashed my inner most emotions... man did it sound great.. now i know what dimebag darrel and eddie van halen were talking about.. dime said.. "Nobody is better than anybody... The guitar is for everyone and it's a beautiful thing... Long live the six-string".. and eddie said, "It's dangerous to think those magical moments that occur during a solo are coming from you, because they're not. They're coming through you. If you get to a point where you think everything you play is purely your doing, you'll get a big head, and that's when the magic gets taken away." i have been shown somthing great... but now ive gotta practice opening this channel... and performing rythmic riffs that seem complex.. also.. i love multi layered songs.. like harmonies.. but harmonious shredding.... mmmmmm.... now i need new pants...

also

i found some deeply troubling things inside of myself once i took the time to sit down and reflect on my life.. some might say it is good to look inside of your self every-so-often... but i disagree.. i did not like what i saw.. i got to know my self a little bit better.. and ... uhhhh... i dont blame people for not likeing my.. damn..

is it a strength or a weakness to be able to take your own life? .. is it a strong person who can convince them selves its time.. or is it a weak person who cant bring them selves to do it...

im just wondering.. im not gonna.. but i think about weird things when im alone...

also i need a photoshop program.. if anyone wants to send me the file via aim.. my s/n is the same and my lj...

is it a bad thing to want a girl who already has a four-year old daughter...? dont tell me i couldnt handle fatherhood... cuz it pisses me off.... if presented with the responsability... i would step up and handle myself like a man.. josiah.. you just wait.. if in colleg i get a girl pregant .. i will be that childs father.. im not afraid... okay maybe a little... but not to where i would runaway..

damn i need somthing better to do.....hmmmmm

well ben is now at 11 months with out getting any.... poor ben.

but id rather not go a month if possible...;-) huh...

well atleast my recovery was quick...er... but still not complete.. gimme another few days and ill be .... worse than before..

no im not trying to be a pig.. it's just that my needs have been ramped up....majorly.. i wanna **** till college starts... then maybe focus on school..this is why ive thought about having a kid.. ive been too lucky.. its bound to run out somtime..

so i miss hanging out with everyone at my house late at night.. wednesday night .. my house...bring money.. we'll get food.. and have a fire... it will be like old times.. i would prefer only mta kids show up.. i think it should be the imediate group of friends.. and select others.. just to keep the comfort level up... but not to high.. or else i start making perverted jokes again... wait.. there are no promises that i wont... and if you dont think that im funny ....DONT FUCKIN LAUGH... i hate it when people laugh then says they hate how perverted i am... golly!

also.. jake and heidi.. hook me up.. no.. i dont wanna watch... eww.. i mean.. well you know who i am talking about.. jake you said she needed attention.. ive got attention to give..

i wonder if there is anything good on tv..... also HIM did a good job coverin "rebel yell"

i better end this before i make more people hate me.. haHAhaHA haHAha

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Jul. 31st, 2005 @ 06:57 pm Megadeth- Die Dead Enough

Current Mood: I'll solo harder than Mustaine
Current Music: Megadeth-Die Dead Enough

Its twilight and I wake up hot
My body's soaked in a cold, cold sweat
I reenact the lurid scenes
And clawed engravings in my head

Oh, I can't punch hard enough and I run
I can't kick high enough and I run
I can't shoot straight enough and I run
I can't hold on enough and I run
Oh, I can't stay down enough and I run
I can't take pain enough and I run
I can't bleed fast enough
I can't die dead enough

The air is thick, but the oxygen's thin
My heart is beating like a drum, boom!
And ice is flowing through my veins
Explosives on my lips and in my lungs

Oh, I can't punch hard enough and I run
I can't kick high enough and I run
I can't shoot straight enough and I run
I can't hold on enough and I run
Oh, I can't stay down enough and I run
I can't take pain enough and I run
I can't bleed fast enough
I can't die dead enough

I don't know what I'm running from
And I don't know where I'm running to
There's something deep and strange inside of me I see

I don't know what I'm running from
And I don't know where I'm running to
Something's compelling me to run into the dark

And now I am more driven than before
And now I live just to settle score
And now I feel the nearness of your breath
Now I introduce you to your death
Solo- Poland
Solo- Mustaine
Solo- Poland

I am more driven than before
I live just to settle score
I feel the nearness of your breath
I introduce you to your death
I can't punch hard enough
I can't kick high enough
I can't shoot straight enough
I can't hold on enough

I can't stay down enough, die dead enough
I can't take pain enough, die dead enough
I can't bleed fast enough, die dead enough
I can't die dead enough, die dead enough

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Jul. 28th, 2005 @ 09:00 pm blank

changed my mind.....

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Jul. 15th, 2005 @ 11:34 pm parents out for the weekend..

so my parents will be gone for a while... like all night... so if you are interested... lol.. i think you know where to call.. saturday ill be home just about all day.. but dont text me i think my phone desided not to show me them anymore...

i have a certain person in mind,.. so if you think you might be them.. call me..;-)

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Jun. 11th, 2005 @ 05:43 pm mmm BMW

i want a BMW m3.... soo much sex appeal

i will be getting one.. even if i have to steal it..

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Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 10:41 pm Niccolo Machiavelli

Current Mood:

restless
Current Music: Iced Earth "The Hunter"

I find Niccolo Machiavelli's ideas rather distubing, in the sence that they hold so true. This school of thinking and certain aspects of the bible lead me to thinking about what the Anti-Christ will be like... if there is one thing i hate... it's when i get going on this topic... but now i am going to buy karl marx book's and Niccolo Machiavelli's books and read about the four horsemen and all this other stuff dealing with leaders and governmants and the end....

C'mon fuel my fire.... what other books would be good?

millions have died.. millions more will die.. how long? ...... not long

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Jun. 8th, 2005 @ 10:49 pm this is the end my friends....

wellitsoverwedidit yay! i hope everyone has atleast one good memory that they can take with them through life.. and i also hope that i dont lose contact with those who i hold dearest.. thank you for making my high school education unforgetable.

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May. 16th, 2005 @ 01:14 pm wicketywicketywild wild wes(t)...when i stroll into the..

Current Mood: Hungry For Lovin'
Current Music: this shit is bananas.. B.A.N.A.N.A.S.

so i shot off fire works with nora.. and it freaking rocked.. but now i am so busy that i dont really have time for much that hasnt already been planned.. and this summer im probably going to have a full time job in constuction. so once again.. ill only have time for ppl that matter.. so only close friends.. and a girlfriend if i can pull that off...**(scoff scoff)** anyway... im glad i will get to see team america again...America .... FUCK YEA! lol... great stuff. you know what.. i think will smith is a better rapper than most will give him credit for. i loved his cd "big willie style" back in the day.. but i didnt like gettin' jiggy with it.. it too quickly became a white person catch phrase.. so i rejected the song. recently i found a cd by the band "GZR" , which much to my dismay.. the guy in bull moose called it jizzer rather that GEE, ZEE, ARE. i was saddened...

Prom plans... woods of bowdinham... i know of a place and you are invited ..unless i have slept with you and we have not-so-great relationship now.. soo.. mostly just my circle of friends and a few other people i am down with.. anyway.. we are going to need about 10 gallons of booze.. and about 12 4-man tents...(i think they are called #man tents because what guy wouldnt want to try and fit as many chicks in there as possible.. so it wouldnt have a number..) so.. i think it would be awsome... but i know there will be a few people we will have to cut off from the old friend i like to call drinking because they dont know their limit and i dont want to have to waste my time taking care of them when i should be having fun trying to climb what i think is a tree... also i think we should find some sticks that we could hit any wild K-9 like critters that might be lurking in the bush...

Benifits of playing Halo...:
1) you can go from zero to pissed in about one well placed sticky grenade.
2) you make up awsome new words that you will soon forget .. but remember that they were awsome...
3) find Jesus.
4) kill your friend without penalty of law.
5) on live you can team up with people that you dont know.. its good to play together
6) Find waldo... it is a little known fact that waldo is actually visible with a sniper rifle in headlong..
7) think of new uses for velcro.
8) talk about good times
9) if you shoot it and it 'splodes.... it was bad..
10) the guardians hate minorities.
11) mrs boucher just caught me typing.. damn....

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May. 5th, 2005 @ 11:16 pm hot tub

Current Mood: I CANT SEE IN THE DARK ...!
Current Music: swirling the bottle sounds like music...

man i just got outta the hot tub.. it was freaking hot....104.. i like heat..

So before my surprise birthday party... ben took me to go meet this really hot girl that he thinks is a les... well much to my dismay she wasnt there.. but there was this other girl there.... oh my god... i know she wasnt the hottest girl ever... but damn near it.. i mean she looked like she had an awsome personality...and you know what i cant spell.. i am so beliger.... jojo how do you spell that word that jimmy spells.. i mean says ..so bummer.. no big puffy vest from the north face for me.. the north face isnt putting out any more until august.. those fuckers.. and i am having a hard time finding the keys.. nora said its drinko demio.. or somthing el not so english so ive had a few.. .. wait im still in my towel.. not good.. i feel like being nude...! hey i can see my naughty bits when i lean back.. well i off to drink again from the magical fountain... if i make i back up stairs.... someone please remind me that the vest isnt coming...

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Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 09:03 am I stole cory's parking spot..

Current Mood:

senior paper due soon.
Current Music: my battery died.. so none

bell .....
damn i have bad timing for trying to update.. but atleast im back...

so kill me..

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Apr. 6th, 2005 @ 03:36 pm Nora dont listen

Current Music: noice in my head

when jojo tells you that your car will suck.. ask him what he drives.. and when he does get his licence what will he be driving... your car will be better than his.. i wouldnt worry about it.. and as for rims.. you could do it.. but you would want to paint it first.. then get rims with that color thing that matches you car color.. but make sure it doesnt looking like you want to race it .. or i will make fun of you to.. but if you want me to help you ... i have a few ideas to help you pull it off. it could be fun.. but sand tan is not a cool color.. so paint that mofo.

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Apr. 2nd, 2005 @ 06:38 pm PAINTBALL

Current Music: Day One_-_ Untitled1 & 2

PAINTBALL SUNDAY APRIL 10th. if ive talked to you.. you know where and when.

hey you know what... i suck.. ha

no,you may not talk to me...

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Mar. 29th, 2005 @ 01:32 pm WTF....

Current Mood:

amused
Current Music: Iron Maiden-Wickerman

ya know... i like to get burned.. it is a pleasent change of pace for me.. i had it coming.. hahahah however when it comes down to it i make so pretty bad desisions.. but i still wouldnt change them.. there are some girls who need to learn to be with only one guy or none at all.. i know that could aply to me if i said something about one girl or none.. but i am trying ..... I HATE THE SLUTS THAT WRITE ABOUT DUMB SHIT LIKE SEX ON THEIR LJ THAT IS SOOOO DUMB.. well now i am kinda pissed yet feel more compation towards those who have fallen to THEM, and those who will fall. YOUR TIME HAS COME... lol i love the iron maiden. they rock that shit.. i am looking forward to the battle of the bands.. yea rock... "she switches partners more than you do.... and youre a whore... what does that make her???" i love my friends.....

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Mar. 5th, 2005 @ 01:52 pm Help me....

If someone could please write me step by step instuctions as to how to make an icon next to your name... ill try and find/take/make a good picture of me to put there... or if you want me to put somthing else there i will.. but i need to know how first...

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Feb. 14th, 2005 @ 06:58 pm new people finding out i have a live journal could result in....

so not everyone knew i have i live journal.. so now some "new" people were told and they shoudl be looking at it soon... but im not sure how they will find it.. its not like i put that i have one all over the place.. maybe if they visit the old Better Than Andy wen page they might see it.... lol... that page is soooo old.... well ... im kinda depressed about this Valentine's day... but somehow i managed to walk away with hope for the future and a certain relationship..... and before you say it .. i know... why do i put myslef through this if it hurts so bad... and im not sure.. something on the inside tells me that this is the right thing to persue.... now if i could only make her feel the same way... wel... not make... but i would love it(and her all the more) if she did.. oh... look at this i have become one of those whinny guys that just bitches and moans about what they cant have... i hate those guys.... so i guess that you lead you to believe that i hate myslef.... i could say it... but everyone who knows me knows very well i dont HATE mysalf.. i hate things about me.. but not myself all together..

I would give anything to have her feel about me, the way i feel about her....

but aparently god isnt listening to me and the devil really doesnt want to give me stuff for my soul...

so who do i go to now>>><<<<

X X

>><<
xxcaseyballardxx@yahoo.com .... shoot me .... an e-mail...

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Feb. 14th, 2005 @ 06:43 pm HIM-Wicked Game(666 remix)

World was in fire,
Noone could save me but you.
Its strange what desire,
will make foolish people do.

I never dreamed that Id meet sombody like you,
I never dreamed that Id [L]use somebody like you.

But I wanna fall in love,
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}
And I wanna fall in love,
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}
with you...........
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}

what a wicked game to play,
to make me feel this way.
what a wicked thing to do,
to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say,
you never felt this way.
what a wicked thing to do,
to make me dream of you.

But I wanna fall in love,
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}
And I wanna fall in love,
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}
with you...........
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}

World was in fire,
Noone could save me but you.
Its strange what desire,
will make foolish people do.

No,I never dreamed that Id meet sombody like you,
I never dreamed that Id lose somebody like you.

But I wanna fall in love,
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}
And I wanna fall in love,
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}
with you...........
{this wolrd is only gonna break your heart}

But I............

Nobody Loves Noone............

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Feb. 12th, 2005 @ 02:28 pm .......

my parents leave me alone too much... good thing i behave........

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Feb. 5th, 2005 @ 05:38 pm (no subject)

scott is a loser and should not read my lj any more....

syke....

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Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 01:53 pm Busted

yea... this suckes.. i am officially grounded for two or more weeks... so no xbox, band practice only at my house.., but i can still do ski club..

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Jan. 27th, 2005 @ 04:05 pm ICED EARTH: I Died For You

I cant believe this now.
This isnt what ive planned.
I've lived and died in now,
I just cant understand.
With all the love I feel,
I could never leave her.
No matter what the cost,
My soul is the PRICE to see her.

Oh, how I love you,
The pain wont go away.
Oh, when I need you,
You're always so far away.
I cried for you,
Leaving myself to blame.
I died for you,
I gave up everything.

The pain was just to much,
When I finally saw her.
She's happy and in love,
[Love with my best friend]
What makes it hurt so bad,
[Is that I loved them both]
[They] will never know,
The love thats in my soul.

Oh, how I love you,
The pain wont go away.
Oh, when I need you,
You're always so far away.
I cried for you,
Leaving myself to blame.
I died for you,
I gave up everything.

Oh, how I love you,
The pain wont go away.
Oh, when I need you,
You're always so far away.
I cried for you,
Leaving myself to blame.
I died for you,
I gave up everything......

Inside the [xxx] does not apply to the situation the im presently in... but the rest is right on the money..

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Jan. 24th, 2005 @ 05:59 pm (no subject)

somtimes you have to die a little to let yourself know that you can feel alive too.

hang on and hope for better times.

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Jan. 4th, 2005 @ 07:03 pm New Amp...

Yes I am one step closer to finally getting my new amp for battle of the bands.. i am also going to be getting a new EMG active pickup for my guitar.. i dont think that i am going to try and buy my wah pedal for the battle.. i dont think that i am going to want to spend anymore money. when i play i think im only going to use my amp to get that straight forward sound.. whatever it comewith for effects will be what i perform with.the only other thin k i am going to buy is a longer high-end cable to plug into.. i dont want to lose my pick-ups tone over a wireless... now i am bored... i think i want to go to bed...

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Dec. 16th, 2004 @ 05:36 pm Im sorry chris...

chris i never meant to make you feel bad.. i love you... and i dont think it is fair to say people talk about jake behind his back.. and uh i think you should know .. that no one really does.. because atleast jake can make time for both his friends and his girl friend.. and i know you have felt stressed and like there isnt anyone in the world that you can relate to.. but we have all been feeling somthing like that.. and personally i really dont want to let feelings like that come in between me and having a good time.. i hope you understand that no matter what you do or how little time you spend with us.. we all be there for you.. we love you..

also the reason some people say things behind your back is simply not cuz they are trying talk to you.. and ther only side you show is your back.. (turned your back on us..) and i do beleive that was before you felt like shit.. i hope you can come out of being like this so we can have the last couple of months together be special.. but not in a gay kinda way...
i know you were hurt and im sorry about my share.. but you hurt all of us in an act that told most of us who was more important.. but i can understand that you would chose her over us.. but atleast still talk to us rather than turn your back not talk to us and actually tell us what is bothering you to our faces...we cant know somthings wrong if the only tweo things that know whats on your mind are your pillow and shelly...

i miss the old chris..

and i do respect girls...damnit

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Dec. 14th, 2004 @ 02:06 pm Noranoranora

lol today i said somthing to nate wing..and he threw somthing at me and instead of hitting me.. it hit nora.. well nora went off.. io thought i was gonna have to get a mop to clean up the mess of nate bleeding all over the floor...memo to self... dont throw things at nora...well my life just got realloy boaring so i will not be updateing as much until i get to NY where there isnt much need for me to leave the house.. lol.. i also cant see most of my LJ account due to the fact that it is messed up now.. ..well i g2g

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Dec. 11th, 2004 @ 03:15 pm Im an ass...

Current Mood: Lacking Blood.. I dontated...
Current Music: Black Label Society>>Stoned and Drunk

well since certain people are mad at me for voicing my opinion..... i decided to clarify what i think livejournal is good for and what is a healthy use of it...
Live journal should not be used to post things that are better off left being said only said to the person you feel that way towards...
also.. it is a great way to keep family members updated on what you have been doing.. i.e. my cousin who lives in CA or in NY , they can read this ..as i can read theirs....so even though we are apart we can still read about whats going on in each others lives.. without wasting money on phone calls...
And further more if you really feel the need to write about your g/f\b/f then maybe you should reconsider weather or not your relationship is all that healthy...or if you are just plain obsessed.. or worse.. thats all you do..
XXthis may seem to some as me being jelous of other people's relationship...and that isnt the case.. i am happy for all of my friends who are committed to their partner.. but when all you post about is what you two do...sexually (mike and sara) i will have to kill you...lol..I am not jelous.. but it should be pointed out to you face that it is irritating to those who read it and are your friends...XX back casey up..??? unlikly .. im the only one with guts enough to say that i care about you guys and i want all my friend to have healthy relationships because i love all of you..(but lets forget that because its not metal to love.. it is metal to eat your friends tho..) i dont want to offend .. but i know that some people might be.. and im not sorry.. get over it.. i know you have a right to say what you want.. but so do i ...and ill let you all know when i think you are being ... uh.... dumb... as i would expect all of you to tell me...

nora i also need that 20$ i lent to you so i can get the remainder of my christmas shopping done.. THNKX...

hhhhhhh lk n vwls( ahahahaha i like no vowels)

maine mall sunday.. what time ???? then some stores>? and the some HALO...(says Brwn1) then some more stores.. the asian food.. then doom....then once we are out of the bathroom...we could go home? well who is going?

And can anyone help my to really understand the physics before we take the test on it monday?????

my dog smells...

nora.. i am in the process of recording a version of our song so you can write the lyrics to it..

i dont mean to be mean .. but some one remind me on sunday to get R.E.'s present..

today was fun giving blood but now im kinda draind....lol... i made an on-line pun..narf...

zzCHALENGE OF THE MONTHzz:teach casey to solo....

casey will be accepting donations to help him buy an XBOX w/ Halo 2..HALO 1 AND GHOST RECON.
i AM ALSO VERY BORED AND WOULD LIKE TO DO SOMTHING.. BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT YET.... CAPS LOCK...mmmhmmmmm

does casey need a hair cut???? yes<no ? if yes how short? well i think its time to try to jump in the river and see how cold that sonuhvabitch really is.... mm i want to be a popsicle too...! DIE F.C. xxTRANSMITION ENDEDxx

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Dec. 9th, 2004 @ 01:48 pm What do you do when one of you Heros dies?

Current Mood: Like I Wanna DIE
Current Music: ANYTHING PANTERA/DAMAGE PLAN

Pray with me that Diamond "dimebag" Darrell Abbott is in Heaven sherding on an endless supply of Washburns and randall amps... He died tragically in a night club shooting...a lone gunman in a hoodie approached the stage and fired at DIME and some more shots at bouncers... 5 people were Killed Including dime.....i am very depressed..id kill myself it wasnt up to me to make sure the Late Dimebag Darrell had an influence on atleast one guitarist... i will be able to play like him before i die... i will not fail....

www.pantera.com
www.damageplan.com

Zakk Wylde Dont you go and die.. I need you to be alive....

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Dec. 9th, 2004 @ 01:48 pm What do you do when one of you Heros die?

Current Mood: Like I Wanna DIE
Current Music: ANYTHING PANTERA/DAMAGE PLAN

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Dec. 8th, 2004 @ 04:45 pm yea.... update time...

well today was the first snowday for MSAD 75 and i couldnt get a hold of cory all day and i finally gave up and shoveled the driveway.. so then nora came over and was like whoa.. you shoveled your whole driveway... and i was like.. hold on a minute.. i gotta finish the top real quick...and then we went to the mall and two freshmen girls from deering came up to me in sears while Nora was trying on clothes...and i was like umm... i dont know you..and they told me i was cute.. then they ran away..WITHOUT SAYING BYE...OR FURTHER TELLING ME I WAS CUTE.... oh well easy come easy go...so anyway we proceeded to leave.... and as we got on the road we were like ...... so do you know which way we need to go...and we just like..uh that turn looks good.... so... we past the turn we needed to make like 3 times and then we tirned some more..and got scared even though we were on the right road.. and then we thought about going back and calling for directions..and we were like ..who put the larrabee road here.. i dont remember this road... and we kept going and found our exit and then got into freeport.... and then were fine.. so NORA I HATE YOU>>>>10K..... lol yes...
well im done now...
goodnight

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Dec. 5th, 2004 @ 04:36 pm Is pat really a slut?

wel i desided not to update so much because i did it to much... yea.. so i really hate myself.. but you guys know that and can see why because you all hate me.. lol.. it isnt always fun to be hated.. but if i werent hated then someone like cory or chris would be.. no not cory.. i think it would be chris.. chris you should thank me that everyone can hate me instead of you..so i found out that last year i was an asshole and not really that cool.. but since then i guess that i have changed and become less of an ass and more cool.. but i dont really see how this can be because i still think im an asshole and im trying to stop.. but it is so fun somtimes... well pat you should show me two things.. how to post a pic... and where you got the pic of kirsten storms...[she's so hot] you know what is a fun chalenge go into people's LJ and find how many times they talk about thier b/f or g/f.. i dont think that i have too many times.. A because i never have a g/f and when i do... i try not to talk about her in my lj cuz its lame stuff that noone wants to read anyway.. plus if we were to break up i wouldnt want people to be like.. huh what a lameass.. even though they all know that anyway..so today consisted of me being quasi-sick until i took a shower and downed some "Tussin"[Robitussin](thank you chris rock) and me trying to get the internet to work in my room ..... i will beat smarterchild in the online battles.... oh and cory i figured out you blocked me... member when i told you i was doing h/w and talking on line and you were all like then you shouldnt be talking to me and then you were all like block ... and i was all like whered he go..?and then i was all like now i HAVE to do my paper... and then i was all like... 3 hours later done.. and then i was all like sleeping.. so that is why i couldnt find you online you stupid blocker.. so un-freakin-block me....grrrrr...oh and ..nm .. i shouldnt post that./....so this year im hoping to keep my christmas shopping under 300$.. its not that i have to get alot of gifts.. i just hate spending less than 50$ on each person.. oh and im not really one of those people who goes and buys all of thier friends stuff either.. thats why i like the secret santa idea...everyone will probably get a card,... if you are in my tight ring of friends... so there.. i guess im done now.. on to more h/w... grrr. mrs boucher and your physics class....i hate physics h/w....and kitties covered in pointy things.....

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Dec. 1st, 2004 @ 06:32 pm opps....

opps.. they are actually civil war kinda.. or atleast their web page is.. gwllllard...

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Dec. 1st, 2004 @ 06:14 pm What are good band names?(for us)

i hope this shows up as an image cuz i cant see it.. it is her...mmmhmmm.... oh jojo download some "iced earth".. its like r.. that other midevil band..and i cant spell sorry

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Dec. 1st, 2004 @ 01:24 pm text what?

who uses html pat? i dont think that i would want to do that.. are you added to my list of friends now? i didnt know so many people read my journal and just dont leave commments.. huh i guess they arent as cool as everyone else.. oh well.. so nora is a good belly dancer.. mmmmmmm... i mean uh huh.. bell ill update later...

xxTRANSMITION ENDEDxx

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Nov. 29th, 2004 @ 08:02 pm I dont like to do make up work

so now that im back at school i have to make up work... damn i dont like make up work... oh well and now my speakers on my pc are toasted.. and they will not make noice.. so... ill poke them till they become so cross that they are forced to do my bidding... hmm you cant post picutres on this .. oh well im sure that none of you really wanted to see a pic of kirsten storms anyway.. ha ha ha ha ha ha ... i win..so now.. i dont have anything to do on the computed so i think ill watch my daily dose of ....reality TV ;-) and then go to bed

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Nov. 28th, 2004 @ 09:16 pm I LOVE KIRSTEN STORMS

so if i could go out with anyone who is famous i would want to date kirsten storms... she is talented and beautiful....so anyway.. i still suck at guitar.. so if i meet her i wont be able to sing her a song about how i would very much like to feel for her. i like to ramble about things that i cant have... so i am also going to say that a perfect ife would be with her and a pizza machine.oh and i found some sweet pictures of her.. id make them into posters but thats kinda weird so im not gonna.. i think shes like 19.. so im doubly screwed.. but maybe when i got to work in hollywood this summer i will get a chance to meet her.. that would be nice.oh yea .. Blue Oyster Cult is good stuff... you know what.. i should ask jake whatever happened to the subway logo that stated "subway good so you dont have to be" i kinda liked that.. i also was going to try to use it as an excuse to do or not do somthing. and now i will fill a good part of this entry with kirsten storms name :kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms kirsten storms 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wow that would have been easier if i just used cut and paste. oh well she is very wonderful.. and im weird.. oh well i would like to meet her...and this entry was fun... lol... i promise i wont to this again..

xxTRANSMITION ENDEDxx

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Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 03:08 am HAPPY THANKSGIVING

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

xxTRANSMITION ENDEDxx

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Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 02:56 am I hate it when people have really long post titles, not that i ever do.

well im happy that nora is in the process of healing.. and nora i am sorry you know i was just kidding.. its funny how many people use this instead of an email.. im not sure why atleast email is more private but i guess all my friends are exhib... i dont know how to spell it... but they liked to be watched.. heh.. ill bet there is some one we dont even know that is reading this and is now going to kill me cuz im on to his sick plan. well it is kinda a rule that the death spreads from darkest to lightest.. jojo youll be alive for a while,., and nora.. ill bet youre wishing you wouldnt have gotten tanner..but you could always slay jojo.. but please dont...jojo needs to stay alive to teach me some music theory cuz i want to learn what stuff means and whats its used for so i can try to help write primary and secondary stuff for songs.....wellits only 307 here so im off to bed again....

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Nov. 24th, 2004 @ 06:51 am Josiah's a spooty spoothead!

i was reading old LJ stuff and decide no youre the spooty spoothead.! ha

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Nov. 24th, 2004 @ 06:33 am LJ TO SAVE THE DAY

i just revisited some of my friends live journals... BBBBBBOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG.. GODDAMN Kristen i know you can do better than talk about josh..hehe.. just kiding....DONT BE MAD AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH yea well ive have nothing to do for so long ive benn on this freakin mac for like 2 hours.. wow life i ca is kinda gay.. i have no friends and my cousins dont want to come and visit me... yea i mean you sarah jane.....grrrrr.. lol and whats up with ashley.? you know what jojo.. there a place call guitar center out here..and you know how big the music center is.. the amp trail room is bigger and thats jkust one room of of of like 5 rooms... i gotta go take a pic of an Ibanez thats looks and sounds fucking killer. and i tried the mode four full stackk.. and the guy was like yea jam that thing.. and the cranked it up.. my ears felt like bleeding..........it was great.. ! the Duke Nukem Theme song kicks ass.. too bad its by megadeth.... and they freaking glorious guitarist...HAR i love metal.....

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